For many of us who actually have things to do and place to be, snow is a living nightmare. You’ve got unbelievably low, bone chilling temperatures, roads all blocked out by tonnes of snow and to top it all off, the damn kids still expect Santa freaking Clause to make it all the way from the north pole? In this weather? Still, winter may be bitter, brutal, cold and unforgiving; but you know what they say – Come rain or snow, we will always find the funny side to literally any situation. And we’ve got a few of the best snow puns to prove it. Hey, and if you don’t like snow as much as I, then read our rock puns.
Best Snow Puns and Snow Jokes
1. There’s nothing more beautiful than those ice carvings they make during the winter. But once the sun comes up, then it’s snow fun to be one.
2. What’s a snowman’s favourite kind of sport? I don’t know, snowball?
3. What’s the one pick up line that all UK mountain men can’t resist? ‘Hello there, ice to meet you.’
4. There’s nothing worse than your first real snow it – that’s when you realize the snuggle is real out here.
5. I swear, that was the shortest winter ever. Might as well trade in my ice skis for a freaking snow bored!
6. East or west, home is best. In other words, there’s snow place like home.
7. Okay, got another pick up line in case you’re snowed in at the mall. ‘Hi cutie, here’s a cup of hot tea because, well… you’re a hottie.’
8. And I’m like a nasty snowstorm baby, because I’ve literally fallen for you.
9. What’s the difference between a unicorn and a snowman’s nose? Well, one’s a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast.
10. Did you hear the one about the mall Santa with bipolar disorder? Yeah, he had to check his elf before he wrecked his elf.
11. Just when I swore I’d stop it with the snow pun pick up one liners and I discover I’m smitten with you all over again.
12. Snow is always bragging because it was water before it even got cool.
13. What’s the secret to making an award breaking snowman? Simple, remain chilled all the way.
14. The two skiers tried to make their relationship work but they just couldn’t. He kept melting her heart and she kept rocking her world – damn avalanche just waiting to happen.
15. Don’t you think it’s funny that you never see any snow men during the summer. Oh you do. You’re just usually stepping on them as puddles.
16. Okay, so how do skiers get to their place of work during the winter? By icicle.
17. My parents told me the romantic story of how they met during the winter. It was love at frost sight.
18. Now, what do you call an iron pumping mountain man with abs for days? The abdominal snow man.
19. My kid asked me what the difference between a snowman and snowgirl was. Almost blurted out snowballs before my parental guidance instinct kicked in.
20. I swear, I once saw a group of rabbits hopping away in formation through the snow. That was one quickly receding hare line.
21. I was absolutely worn out after hours of skiing until I reached the top of the run. Man, that was just the lift I needed.
22. I heard winter is like the worst time of the year ever to hold a wedding because the grooms are always getting cold feet.
23. You know why UK cops never tell the bad guy to Freeze? Because he actually might, and then it’s police brutality or premeditated homicide or something like that.
24. Why couldn’t the snowman get a date? Because all the girls kept giving him the cold shoulder – still couldn’t take a hint because he though the cold shoulder was second base.
25. Why on earth did Steve the snow plough guy get fired? Well, he might have told the boss to take this job and shovel it up his… where the sun don’t shine.
26. Heard there was a UK version of Marvel’s Spiderman. Guy calls himself Peter Parka.
27. I don’t know about you, but is winter time really the best time to take a chill pill?
28. I tried making some pepper soup out in the snow, but it turned out to be the wrong type of chilly.
29. Why the heck did you dump all our savings in the snow? Because I wanted to make cold, hard, cash.
30. I heard that thieves like to rob homes during the winter because it’s easy pickings. Well, I’d like to see them try me and my new thawed off shotgun.
31. I used to think those 90 cent boots at the ice rink were cheap skates until I met your brothers.
32. I always look forward to skiing in fresh snow. But once I get going, it’s all downhill from there.
33. Cutting the lead actor out of Frozen – the play really gave a whole new meaning to snow-biz.
34. Mike, Bob, Stan; get the hell out of the snow, you guys are behaving like real chill-dren over here.
35. I love it when Ronaldo scores a gal during the winter games, nothing beats his snowboating.
36. What do you call it when the bank seizes ice sculptures for sale? Ice sculptures or not, everything’s getting liquidated.
37. If you want to be successful ski shop manager, you just can’t let everyone slide. Well, except the customers, then they really need to slide.
38. You know, a mother might know best most of the time; until it’s winter then Mother Nature snows best.
39. Alright, my snowy work is done here – I’ve sled you to the very end.
40. I’ll just go and have some Brrr-eakfast now. But don’t have a meltdown, plenty more puns to go around.
41. Because I came, I thaw, and I conquered.
42. And with great powder, comes even greater responsibility.
43. You should never believe whatever the snowman says because it is just a snow-fake!
44. Snowmen always have icebergs and eggs for their meals.
For those of you who live in cold, snowy regions, then you’re probably tired of dealing with snow all the time. Unless you’re a kid (at heart at least), then it’s just non stop skiing, fighting, and running around in the snow all day. Have a look at our funny puns if you disagree, or check these cold puns here.
I came I thaw I conquered! That was a good one!