There is something about cow puns that really gets people excited. If you want to milk these 60 puns for all they are worth, make no mi-steak, none of your friends will have a beef with these silly cow puns. Hey, and don’t forget to go through these wine puns as well.
Best Cow Puns
1. Bobby couldn’t see a good cow pun if it was literally steering him right in the face.
2. One of the problems when you have invisible cows is that they are herd but they are not seen.
3. It must have been a bovine intervention that the cow saved my life yesterday.
4. The reason Sally stopped telling cow puns was because she always butchered them.
5. The farmer who got attacked by a cow took him to court to milk him for all he was worth.
6. The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-od.
7. One of the reasons that I have never tipped a cow was because I have never been served by a cow before.
8. When a cow is not giving milk each day, there must be an udder problem.
9. If you see a cow climbing to the top of a hill, then you know the cream is rising to the top.
10. Always massage a cow’s back right before you think about putting it out to posture.
11. A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.
12. The reason a cow is always broke is because the dairy farmer is always milking them dry.
13. The little baby cow was told to get to bed because it way way pasture bedtime.
14. If you come across a cow with no legs, consider it some real ground beef.
15. The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
16. The nursery rhyme cow was so excited about his new job that he was over the moon.
17. The farmer thought he only counted 299 cows in the pasture, but after he rounded them up, he now had 300.
18. Farmer Brown’s cows are the funniest in the land, often referred to as the laughing stock.
19. That silly cow will never learn, things go in one ear and out the udder.
20. The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
21. If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
22. That crazy cow with the nervous twitch was called a beef jerky by his friends.
23. The stampede at the dairy farm created udder chaos for all the farm hands working that day.
24. All cows love to celebrate on Moo Years Day!
25. That forgetful cow was only good for giving the farmer milk of amnesia.
26. The milking stool usually will only have three legs because the cow has the udder.
27. Once a cow gives birth, she is officially known as de-calf-inated.
28. The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each udder dry.
29. The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
30. That rich dairy farmer was in the money after his herd became a cash cow.
31. In order to move a cow with no legs, it would be an udder drag.
32. The cows all wanted to go to school because they excelled in cow-culus.
33. The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
34. That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
35. The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
36. I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
37. As soon as the cowboys are done with branding, they have sore calves.
38. Cows are usually very obedient when the cowboys come around because they do not want to stirrup any trouble.
39. Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
40. You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
41. The best way to tell if you have a truly exceptional cow is to see it outstanding in the field.
42. When you have a cow who has one leg that is shorter than all the rest, he is considered to be lean beef.
43. Give a cow a pogo stick if you want to make a good milk shake.
44. In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
45. Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
46. When that crazy cow tried to jump over the barbed wire fence, the farmer had an udder disaster on his hands.
47. Don’t ever cross an irate sheep with an angry cow or you will get animals in a very baaaaaad mooooood.
48. When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
49. The farmer had the funniest herd in the land, they were known as the laughing stock.
50. Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
51. Sweden will never export cattle because they want to keep them in Stockholm.
52. Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
53. The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
54. That crazy cow kept running away because he thought he could find greener pastures next door.
55. A cow born in England could be called a Sir- Loin.
56. The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound a sleep in the fields.
57. The reason the cows were so hard to see in the fields was because they made use of the cow-moo-flage.
58. The little calf didn’t want to go to school with sniffles because she was milking it for all it was worth.
59. The cows are broken at all time because the farmer constantly milks them dry.
60. Cows love listening to Maroon 5 and singing along: “Mooo like Jagger. I’ve got the moves like Jagger!”
If you took the time to really tell these 60 cow puns correctly, then your friends will not find them to be utterly ridiculous but at least a bit funny. And don’t forget to check some of our best animal puns.