Meat puns can be the centerpiece of the meal of puns! It doesn’t matter what meat they feature; any meat is fair game for a pun. Whether you are a vegetarian or a carnivore, you can still enjoy a good meat pun! You don’t have to feel guilty for using a meat pun even if you are a veggie – it’s not like you’re eating it! Whether you’re “meating” a new friend, or “roasting” an old one, meat puns can be a great thing to break out during a barbecue. Or, just, any time really.
Best Meat Puns
1 I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
2 I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
3 I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
4 I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
5 I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
6 What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
7 Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
8 Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
9 Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
10 Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
11 Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
12 I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
13 There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
14 Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
15 Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
16 Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
17 If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
18 You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
19 I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
20 Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
21 I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
22 Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
23 My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
24 My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
25 Vegans really have a beef with meat.
26 Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
27 Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
28 Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
29 As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
30 What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.
31 What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
32 It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.
33 Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
34 It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
35 Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
36 Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
37 All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
38 Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
39 Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
It doesn’t matter what your favorite meat is, or how you best like it to be cooked – now you have a list of the best meat puns, you can slay the audience at your next barbecue! Not literally though. We do not recommend this – stick to the meat you buy from the supermarket!