If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then think about what a watermelon could do. I mean, it’s 20 times the size, dozens and dozens of seeds, a whole lot more fluid content, and, you don’t have to climb a tree to get that humungous fruit. So in essence a watermelon a day should be able to get half the doctors in your hospital fired. The other half? Well, let’s just say that with laughter being the best medicine and all that, things are not looking so great over there. We’ve combined your love for the best fruit on the planet and some watermelon puns and humour to keep you happy, full, and healthy. So grab a slice and prepare to get your punny bone tickled. If you want more, check our music puns.
Best Watermelon Puns
1. The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
2. Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
3. So, how on earth did the police catch the fruit thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
4. I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
5. And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
6. Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
7. They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
8. Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
9. Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
10. The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
11. What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
12. I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
13. What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
14. I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
15. What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
16. If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
17. What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
18. The teacher asked us in class that if a group of flowers were called a bouquet of flowers, what about watermelons? Yeah, I got sent to the principals for answering a – lotter melons.
19. What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
20. Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
21. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
22. What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
23. Did you hear the one about the watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
24. So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
25. Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
26. What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
27. The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
28. What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
29. What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
30. I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
31. Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
32. What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon! I love you!”