Humans have been using axes for thousands of years to cut, split, and shape wood. These tools have many specialized uses and forms in different countries, from weapons to ceremonial symbols. With their popularity and significance in society, it is no surprise that many people often make a lot of puns and jokes about it. We have collected and put together a list of best axe puns to help you have fun with friends and family members.
Best Axe Puns
1. Do you know what do trees and people have in common? Both of them always fall down when being hit many times with a shape axe.
2. A man climbs on the tree with his axe. He drops the axe on another man below and says “Oh I am really sorry for that, it is just an axe – cident!”
3. I still remember the last words that my grandpa talked to me before she passed away last night “Hey John, what are you doing with your axe?”
4. I have been spending 3 last hours just looking for my axe. And then it suddenly hits me!
5. My best friend is arrested by the police because he says that he used to be an axe murder. However, it turns out that he is just a terrible guitarist.
6. Stevens is going to have a date with his new girlfriend this night, so he borrows me my shaving foam, hair gel, and … my Axe.
7. Do you hear about the lumberjack who loses his job today? His manager just gives him the axe!
8. It is not simple to understand what these lumberjacks are trying to say because they speak with a thick axe – cent.
9. Do you know why three-dimensional items or tools are so good at chopping or cutting down trees? It is simply because they all have 3 axes.
10. I find it very difficult to understand my new Australian friend, who always puts on a lot of deodorants. Perhaps it is because has a too strong Axe scent.
11. The most obvious difference between a lumberjack and other professions is that the lumberjack will get the axe after being hired.
12. In the court, what would an axe murderer say to the judge? I am innocent. It was only an axe – ident.
13. There are only 2 things are certain in life: axes and death. The latter is often followed by the former.
14. During an important battle in the ancient time, a soldier talked to his comrade “Just take a few minutes to rel – axe! I do not want to give you a splitting headache!”
15. For many people, throwing axes at animals or plants can be a random axe of violence.
16. Do you know why the man failed as a standup comedian, but later became a prolific axe murderer? Because he was a total hack.
17. When someone axes you a dumb question, just give them the axe!
18. I axe myself whether it is really necessary to chop down that tree in my garden.
19. The axe says to the wood “I need to axe you a question”. The wood then replies to the axe “Wood you cut it out?
20. The new ruler of our kingdom is brutal and savage: He wants to exe-terminate the old forest with his axe.
21. Hey man, that really looks like a hatchet job!
22. When you are recovering from an injury, you would say that “I am back in axe-tion”
23. I kiss my axe every day, but nobody believes it and says it is disgusting.
24. The time for the peace conference has ended, now it is the time for axe-ing.
25. Please do not axe me, I do not know how to handle it.
26. It is a new axe for women!
27. I get terrified when my teacher says that “If you have any questions, feel free to axe me when the lecture is over.”
28. That is an axe – llent throw!
29. During a biology lesson, the teacher asks her student “What separates your head from your body? The student innocently answers “The axe!”
30. You should be very careful what you axe for this Christmas because you might just get it!
31. If you want to axe me about my knife – life, do not bother because I just get only hammered.
32. Do not be a pain in the axe.
33. I love your random axes of kindness!
34. A book is like an ice – axe that can break the frozen seas in our soul.
35. Do you know why the monster decides to purchase an axe? Because it wants to a-head in life!
36. Two soldiers in the army look at the battle and say “There are so many enemies! This is so axe-citing!”
37. George Washington admitting chopping down the cherry tree of his father. But why didn’t his father punish him? Because he still grabbed the axe in his hand.
38. I come home and find an axe buried in my personal computer. I suppose that it has been hacked by someone!
39. When I ask my student to put the word “schedule in a full sentence”. She gives me this “In the shed, you will find an axe.”
40. I have got an axe to grind with you!
41. Yesterday, I threw an axe at the car of my father and left a large dent in the door. Fortunately, he was not angry and said that “Do not worry son, it was just an axe – dent!”
How do you think about these axe puns? Some are a bit creepy, some are quite obscure, but all of them are interesting and funny once you have understood. If you want to have more fun, then try the following puns on hat, pineapple, and soup.