The beauty with alcohol puns is that they have some witticism that can be understood by those who are sober and enjoyed by those who are plastered. You will learn a bit about the booze slang and how you can fit in when a conversation comes up.
Best Alcohol Puns
1. Inasmuch as alcohol doesn’t solve all the problems. It is worth giving it a shot.
2. The reason why the drunk climbed up the bar roof is because it was announced the next one was on the house.
3. In case you want a small drink, just order a marteenie.
4. Instead of me drunk dialing you, allow me to enjoy the party and alcohol you later.
5. The reason dogs are not allowed in bars is because they can’t hold their licker.
6. I am really getting buzzed, just like a bear drinking honey straight from a beehive.
7. People can be so annoying. The other day someone was telling me I drink like a fish so I had to tuna them out.
8. The favorite drink Chuck Norris orders at any bar is the sock-ee.
9. The reason the Easter Bunny showed up at the mini bar is because he had it was a hoppy hour.
10. I don’t think all drunk people black out, some are just a little absinthe-minded.
11. The type of alcohol lumberjacks drink is known as loggers.
12. At a keg party, the most popular dance is the tap dance.
13. If you want to witness a really spirited debate, watch whisky versus vodka.
14. If you want to fix a broken bottle of Jonnie Walker, try using a scotch tape.
15. We just have to accept it that sobriety is not in everyone’s vodkabulary.
16. Most people are fond of saying that they are drinking alone and yet the bartender is right there.
17. Money can’t buy happiness, but at least it can buy a great bottle of whisky.
18. Alcohol has been voted the best solvent. It dissolves anything from families to marriages to careers.
19. There was nothing fancy with the man she married. However, as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
20. One of the favorite quotes by the legendary Shakesbeer goes like this “To beer or not to beer that is the question.”
21. Moses had the perfect formula of making beer in the old biblical times. It was amazing how Hebrew-ed it.
22. When she called, we told her of the fun we were having on the other side of town. “We wish you were beer!” We exclaimed.
23. The glass of wine told the beer, “You seem very bitter and pale.” To which the beer responded, “Oh, quit your whining.”
24. Beer cures everything that ales ya.
25. The mistake we made was to order a vodka for the bunny yet we knew he prefers hoppy beer.
26. Just an intelligent guess, if a redhead homebrews he makes a ginger ale.
27. On the way, we saw a crushed can of beers and one of our friends exclaimed, “This beer is flat!”
28. I felt I needed to loosen up so I ordered for a screwdriver.
29. The reason why the man from Jerusalem never bought beer is because he-brews.
30. Ghosts only drink booze.
31. The man was assassinated because he walked in and asked the bartender for a shot.
32. Never say to a policeman that you can’t reach for your license unless he holds your beer.
33. The last performance was that of drunk rabbits. What a hop-erratic performance it was.
34. Inasmuch as there was an executive order that Russian vodka that must be 50% alcohol, we all know the proof is in the Putin.
35. Bar stock rooms are very strong. They are constructed with load beering walls and pillars.
36. If you are the kind of person who measures your caffeine intake, you must be a tea-totaller.
37. You should have been there, the government bill to ban alcohol intake and selling was met by a chorus of booze from the parliamentarians.
38. When you are in a hurry but still want to have a shot, then try Rushing vodka.
39. My relationship with whiskey has been recently on the rocks.
40. Do you know about the dead man in the restaurant? The police say that he asked the waiter for a shot.
Alcohol puns can be intoxicatingly hilarious. There are lots of varieties of these puns as there are brands of liquor. Don’t get boozed alone, send the list to friends and family. In the process, share with them other rib cracking puns like bug puns, pickle puns, and cold puns.