Teachers have it pretty tough don’t they – long hours, other people’s children… Why not cheer them up with some of our best puns for teachers? It may well help them get through another day of teaching 30+ students that don’t want to be at school! Perfect for any teacher in your life; have a look through this list and find your funny.
Best Puns For Teachers
1 My science teacher used to tell us the most awful puns. Thankfully he only did it periodically.
2 Maths teachers make amazing spies. They always carry graph paper, because they’re always plotting.
3 I had a history teacher who was always making jokes about the American civil war. General Lee I didn’t find them very funny.
4 My friend teaches music, and yesterday he had to abandon the lesson – the kids were just too keyed-up.
5 Why was the teacher always cross-eyed? Because she couldn’t control her pupils.
6 A teacher I know really disappointed her class, by telling them they would just have a half day that morning – then finished by saying they’d have the other half that afternoon.
7 When I was young, I gave my geography teacher a globe. It meant the world to her.
8 Why do teachers tell you to follow your dreams, then tell you off for falling asleep in class?
9 I have a friend who used to be a Computer Science teacher. He gave up because he lost his drive.
10 My friend’s teacher once asked him why he was doing sums on the floor. He replied that she’d told them to do it without using tables.
11 I knew an English teacher whose favorite season was winter, but the maths teacher’s favorite was sum-mer.
12 A teacher that forgets to take the register is an absent-minded teacher.
13 Why would a teacher write the lesson on a window? Because they want it to be really clear.
14 My English teacher asked me for the longest sentence I could think of, so I wrote “Life imprisonment.”
15 A kid I know was suspended once when a teacher pointed a ruler at him and said there was an idiot at the end of it. He asked which end.
16 At my school, the music teacher married the janitor. She said he swept her off her feet.
17 What are the best reasons for becoming a teacher? July and August.
18 My English teacher was crying in class one day. We all tried to comfort her by saying, “There, their, they’re.”
19 My friend is desperately trying to marry his English teacher, but she’s currently in prison, and you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
20 What did the ghost teacher say to the class who were struggling? “Just look at the board, and I’ll go through it again.”
21 My teacher for Biology was also my English teacher. He tried to tell us that Juliet maintained a constant body temperature with Romeostasis.
22 A music teacher once agreed that I should be a singer, and said I should sing tenor. Tenor twelve feet away from anyone listening.
23 I hired my kid tutor to help her pass maths. This woman will never break wind around us – she’s a private tooter.
24 I had a great teacher when I was young; she was called Mrs Turtle. It’s a strange name, but she tortoise well.
25 It’s hard to use “the dog ate my homework!” now that most things are online. You could still say that he took a couple of bytes though.
26 My history teacher used to give really long lectures about mythological creatures. It was entertaining, but it did dragon a bit.
27 My son’s teacher told him to have a good day, so he packed up his things and came back home.
28 It’s very easy to upset a chemistry teacher. Just wait for them to make a joke, and give them no reaction.
29 I got very upset with my geometry teacher once. They told me to draw a circle, then turn that circle into two equal parts. That’s where I drew the line.
30 My friend really wanted to date his college maths tutor, to get a look at her tan lines. He couldn’t, cos it was a sin.
31 I had a teacher at school once who was filled with doubt and apprehension. Appropriately, she was called Miss Givings.
32 My teacher asked the naughty kid “When is the boiling point reached?” He replied, “Just after my parents have read my school report.”
33 I always wanted to be a maths teacher, but I just couldn’t count on it.
34 A teacher friend I know brought a ladder in to her class one day. When asked why, she told the students she wanted to help them reach new heights.
35 The music teacher in the same school wanted to borrow the ladder, to help the students reach the high notes.
36 My English teacher once asked us to define the word indifferent. The smart kid replied, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”
37 The maths teachers always love going to the beach, to get a tan.
38 I always used to take a hammer to school with me, because I really wanted to nail all my lessons.
39 If your teacher comes to school wearing sunglasses, you should take it as a compliment – it’s because you’re so bright.
40 I asked my science teacher if he knew any jokes about sodium. He replied, “Na.”
41 I was kicked out of an astronomy class once for saying that Saturn must have been married a lot of times, because it has so many rings.
42 I wondered why people make so many terrible chemistry jokes, then I realized it’s because all the good ones Argon.
43 There’s something that I’ve always found odd, and that’s numbers that can’t be divided by two.
44 Maths is actually a pretty sad subject, when you think about it. It has so many problems.
45 Did you hear, our geometry teacher is off school this week! I hear she sprained her angle.
46 I am an English teacher, and yesterday a pile of books fell onto a student’s head. I only have my shelf to blame.
47 I asked my history teacher why the early days of history are called the Dark Ages. She told me it’s because there were so many knights.
Whether you are a teacher or you just want to put a smile on the face of someone else who is, puns for teachers is a great thing to learn!